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I + We = Career Success

By on February 20, 2013 in Career Development, Productivity, Relationship Intelligence, Relationships Intelligence, Teamwork

As Reid Hoffman, Chairman of LinkedIn said in his post, Relationships Matter: I to the We, “No matter how brilliant your mind or strategy, if you’re playing a solo game, you’ll always lose out to a team…. People are the source of key resources, opportunities, information, and the like… “I” vs. “We” is a false choice. It’s both. Your career success depends on both your individual capabilities and your network’s ability to magnify them.”  Strangely, for many of us, we were taught the opposite.  We learned management practices that told us to “not get too personal” and “not let down our guard” at work.  Wow, did we have it wrong. Relationships impact employee engagement and employee engagement impacts productivity.  Human Capital Institute’s 2011 Study called “Connecting the Dots” revealed that interpersonal relationships were the #1 most effective means of impacting employee engagement, above even compensation, pay and benefits.  Co-worker relationships/support came first followed by the relationship with the manager/supervisor.   Times have changed. Relationships drive success. Think about it.  We are in the middle of an evolution – an evolution of connectedness. Just as cloud computing brought us new and better ways to collaborate and communicate through services (think Google, LinkedIn, Twitter), so have we embraced a cloud culture, a culture of connectedness that thrives on more openness, collaboration and transparency and demands it from our leaders and organizations. And, in reality, the speed and complexity of business demands relationship skills for success.

How can you get closer to your people? How can you foster stronger relationships within the team?

 

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Without questions there are no answers

By on February 13, 2013 in Communication Skills, Relationship Intelligence

In The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, Miguel Ruiz states, ‘If others tell us something we make assumptions, and if they don’t tell us something we make assumptions to fulfil our need to know and to replace the need to communicate. We make all sorts of assumptions because we don’t have the courage to ask questions.’

Every day we make assumptions. We make assumptions about ourselves, our partners, our managers and co-workers. But how often are they true?

At the heart of it, making an assumption means believing things are a certain way with little or no proof. At work this can cause miscommunication, lost productivity and unnecessary stress.

—A quick flashback, if I may. Picture the swirly visual effects in your mind.—

Last week I was in a coaching session. My client explained he had sent some work to a few people—including a senior leader—for review and feedback. The good news: The leader sent the requested feedback. The bad news (at least to my client): the email was sent back to his peer, and not him.

This worried my client greatly. He began asking questions like, does the senior leader not respect my work? Does he not trust my judgement? Doubt crept in, negative self-talk he had difficulty shutting down. He assumed the worst.

But what was the truth?

When we explored the level of relationship he had with this GM compared to the level of relationship the GM had with his peer, things became clear. This leader was not questioning anyone’s ability,  he merely responded to the person he worked with most often and associated with this type of work. Period.

 —Okay, the flashback is over. More swirly stuff and you’re back in the present.—

Ask yourself: How many hours have you wasted guessing or assuming what others are thinking? How often have you adjusted your actions as a result?

The challenge: This week assume everyone you work with has positive intentions and no hidden agenda. When you feel you may have a misunderstanding, just ask. Clarify. Be curious and caring, and you may be surprised at what you find.

And pay attention to what you are able to accomplish; you will be amazed.

 

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