Some of the questions that arose this week that led to my somewhat weird take on this topic were…What competencies should I be honing? What are the qualities that show up in the best leaders? What are companies looking for in great leaders? If I don’t possess those particular skills can I learn them? Should I be spending my time assessing my weaknesses and working to improve these?

My first question back to these leaders is “What kind of a leader do you think you are? And then…”Is that the kind of leader you want to be?”

I don’t know about you but I have encountered all sorts of amazing leaders throughout my career…the thing I have noticed most about these leaders is that they have very different skill sets and they are not perfect!!!! They are really great at some things and not so great at others…what makes them truly inspiring is that they know this about themselves and are willing to be transparent and share their strengths and weaknesses with their team. They also are humble enough to surround themselves with people who are more talented than themselves thus creating stellar teams.

I’m not sure that great leadership is about developing a prescribed set of ‘desired’ skills…the leaders that I most admire are the ones that are genuinely interested in having an impact in their chosen field, and in the world in general. They are visionary about where they want to go and have the ability to get people excited about following that vision, and they consistently demonstrate that they genuinely care about the people around them.

So…sometimes my butt does look big in these and that’s just the way it is! Would love to hear other perspectives!

I had the amazing opportunity to reconnect with a colleague of mine yesterday, Katie, who is a coach/facilitator extraordinaire! We collaborated on and co-facilitated two teambuilding sessions for a large corporate client. At the end of the day, as we rode the train back home, we were still reveling in the excitement and energy that was conjured up during the day. This energy not only came from the teams that we had engaged with, but also from the shared passion we both have for the kind of work we do and the kind of impact we want to have in the world. The brilliance and richness of connecting in such an honest and authentic way around a shared vision and purpose gave us the energy and commitment we needed to show up fully for our client…and to continue dreaming up opportunities to get more of this in the future. This “blissed out” (Katie’s expression) experience renewed my commitment to seek out and maintain connection with the right people, the people with whom I can truly show up as myself…warts and all!

As a leader it is so important to have people to connect with in an honest and authentic way. People who you can share your dreams with, your fears with, your frustrations with…it is through this kind of connection that you can regain energy and excitement and passion for what you do. Being able to be connected with someone in this way is like a release valve…not only can you release pent up frustrations or fears that may be holding you back, but you can release a renewed commitment and vision and passion for the future.

Who do you need to connect with?

One very accomplished female executive has been on the fast track for almost 20 years. She has accomplished much, worked all over the world, upgraded her education and very quickly climbed the corporate ladder. She is a highly sought after and credible leader in the organization. She now has a young family and her priorities and goals have changed. Once work was her first priority and personal relationships took second place…now there is a shift for her. The professional side of her and the personal side of her are suddenly in a battle for supremacy. She has always been a ‘builder’ in her career. She has thrived on the energy that comes from building something from nothing. She recently accepted a role that is more about ‘maintenance’ and yet has a great deal of flexibility that meets her personal need to be there for her family. She is content in her role yet she knows it is not as challenging a role as she would ideally like. Staying on the fast track would increase the challenge, increase the pressure to perform and increase the hours of work. Professionally she loves all three of these components, yet personally she knows she would be sacrificing a lot. She believes that her company expects her to continue her pursuit to the top; after all, she has a reputation, and the company has invested a lot in her! Her struggle is this…if she decides to step off the fast track and ‘hang out on the platform’ for a while, will she still be seen as a valuable leader? Or, will she be washed up? Will she be passed over for future opportunities? Will her rail care be fatally stalled? She loves the company and thrives on constantly challenging herself, however her family life is important too. Is it possible to satisfy her current personal needs without sacrificing future professional opportunities?

We all know of companies who say they value work/life balance. Do they really? What is the level of authenticity in that statement? How do companies demonstrate that family values are important to them? If executives decide to take a detour off the fast track does the company support them and welcome them back with open arms when they are ready to hop back on the train…or are they branded with no chance to catch the train at the next stop?

Paul and I sat down to discuss the week and he said his biggest surprise was what he learned…mostly about himself! As Paul struggled with the journaling exercise he admitted how challenging it was to keep the focus on what went well…he was truly amazed at just how hard habits are to break. The ‘negative thinking’ cycle that Paul was in was proving to be much more difficult to break than he had imagined. He discovered just how firmly entrenched he was in looking for the negative as opposed to seeing the positive. As much as Paul first balked at this exercise…”I don’t have time to journal every day, I’m trying to run a business”…the importance of taking the time to complete this exercise was starting to dawn on him. As the week went on he found it easier to identify the positive things that were going on within his organization. As he recognized the positive he made a point to pass that positive feedback on to his team. He said he got lots of surprised looks and blank stares which made him realize that his employees apparently were not used to hearing positive comments from him. Wow…what a revelation! Paul really had no idea the impact he was having on his own organization. He thought it was his employees who were creating the negative culture, he truly was not aware of his own role!

Armed with this new found reality, Paul renewed his commitment to make time to focus on his leadership skills and continue the ‘positive intention’ exercise so that he can create the change he desires in his organization.

Think about your last week…how did your leadership contribute to your work culture? Was it a positive contribution? What did you notice about yourself and your impact on your culture?

As I pondered this question for myself I identified a communication breakdown that occurred in my own organization last week. It would have been easy to blame another team member for the incident; it was a little grey as to whose responsibility it was. However, considering the fact that I was focused on ‘leading with positive intention’ I decided it really didn’t matter who dropped the ball, ultimately it was my responsibility to show leadership in the situation. I took full responsibility with the client, in front of the team mate involved, and then the three of us came up with a resolution to ensure the situation would be dealt with differently in the future. As tough as it is to admit weakness as a leader, the result of this seemingly small incident was a stronger connection with both my team mate and the client…trust was restored very quickly!

Stay tuned to see how Paul made out with Part 2 of his assignment…identifying positive traits in his employees.

Leadership has changed over the years and will continue to evolve as many try to “crack the code” of good leadership. I believe that over the years, people have been looking for a more humane approach to leadership. I know that personally, I’ve always been looking for a leader/manager that will inspire me, that won’t give me the answers but will encourage me to try, succeed, fail and learn. Someone that will give me the opportunity to grow my strengths and will foster an environment where speaking my mind, being vulnerable and true is valued so that I could do my best work.

As I look back on that list, I can’t help but to make the bridge between good leadership and good parenting. Isn’t that what parents are meant to do for their kids? Inspire, motivate, be their champion, make them feel safe, valued, respected?

Could being a powerful leader be that simple?

1) Talk to people in your organization
2) Get out and talk to people outside your organization
3) Get very clear on what you want to do (not what you can do)
4) Getting clear on what you want will require some quiet time for reflection – make that time
5) If you can’t find your dream job; create it