Business has changed significantly over the past 20 years. With the continuous growth of technology in the workplace, communication is one of the most affected categories. It has become exponentially easier to talk to people from all over the world. Rather than fly across the world to meet with a business associate, one can now meet online from their living room. Having such easy access to business opportunities makes it more important than ever to be well versed in relationship intelligence, to make the smartest moves.

Relationship Intelligence Tool: Being Present

However, this ease of communication comes as a bittersweet gift. We have become so immersed in the digital world, that we have forgotten how to be present in our physical one. Reading and writing emails now takes up over a quarter of the average work week; according to a study conducted by McKinsey Global Institute, the average worker spends 28% of their work-week on emails.

With high pressure on quick responses, it is becoming increasingly common for people to constantly check their phone or computer, leading to an increasingly poor impact on face to face communication. People are becoming more disconnected, and will often be distracted by their phones while they are having a conversation.

Not only distracted by physical means, people are also dealing with changing workplace environments and workloads. They are not fully engrossed within the conversations/meetings they are involved in because of mental distractions. Having higher relationship intelligence impacts the way we process information in our heads, and makes it easier for us to prioritize what it is that is causing our mental distractions. Instead of disengaging people can then adjust accordingly, and make clear decisions on how to move forward.

How can you be more present?

To be more present when you are having a conversation with someone, put your sole focus on them. Make eye contact. Stay engaged. Try to keep anything that might distract you away. If you know there is a meeting coming up, take 15 minutes beforehand to sort out anything on your mind. Join the meeting with a clear mind.  If you walk into a meeting with an issue in the back of your head, you are likely not going to be present.

It is important to focus on the moment when concentrating on being more present. People who are more educated on relationship intelligence understand that it is important to focus not only on yourself during an interaction, but also your partner.

Our Relationship Intelligence™ Tool

Personality tests are valuable tools that enable reflection and self-awareness. However, when it comes to providing actionable steps to improve your leadership presence, these tools often fall short.

Our Relationship Intelligence™ Model (RQ)helps you build great relationships and collaboration skills, work faster and create space for innovative ideas.

Contact Cheryl Breukelman for more information about Relationship Intelligence™.

How Important Is Relationship Intelligence?

By being present you are showing your colleagues that you care about them and their work in the company. Your colleagues will feel more valued and understood, and they will respect the recognition you are giving them by practicing relationship intelligence tools.

Your team will also be more excited. When you have a focused conversation with someone about the company’s goals, they will be much more interested because they see that it is a priority to you too and your focus gives space for a deeper conversation. It gives them intrinsic motivation to perform their best.

You will have much more influence (as a leader, or coworker) when you show that you care about the conversation. Because of your co-workers feeling more valued, and more excited, they will also be more comfortable with you.

By being more present in your conversations, people will be more open to sharing ideas they would normally keep to themselves. It isn’t uncommon for people to have a fear for their boss. But when you show them you care and you show up fully in your interactions with them, fear will become trust and respect and understanding. When both parties are compassionate and open to the opinions of the other, the value of relationship intelligence tools within business relationships is visible!

Implementing a coaching program as a leader is easier than you think.

More and more organizations are implementing coaching programs in order to help employees reach their full potential and realize stronger business results. This could be due to an increase in people thinking about who they want to be, and many business leaders reflecting about what kind of leader they want to be.

However, not many people stop to consider what type of leader their organization or team needs, and whether or not they are fulfilling that role. Having a leader who is self-aware and able to make distinctions between their emotions and events of their lives is essential to a well-performing, loyal team. Leaders must have the skills of an individual with an understanding of relationship intelligence.

Expressing Relationship Intelligence As a Leader

Leaders have many qualities and competencies they bring to their roles. They do their best to maintain their character and values at all times, but depending on the situation – where the market is, where the company is or what is happening – they have a choice about who they show up as.

In other words, they have a choice… leaders can be intentional about who they need to be (and will be) in any given interaction. Some examples:

  • If you are launching a new program or process, focus on being the leader who champions people for moving ahead with something new and promotes the importance of innovation.
  • If you are behind on targets, it may support you most to show up as the leader who brings focus and clarity to help the team move ahead with a clear plan and timing.
  • When there is a new market opportunity, be the leader who brings commitment and urgency to be able to move quickly.
  • If your peer is pitching a great new idea, be the leader who acknowledges and validates her.

While leaders are still the ones ‘in charge’, they must be intentional about the way they approach situations to show compassion for their team members. This intention can accelerate your success as it is focused and calibrated to address needs and priorities of the people in your organization. This applies to your direct reports, peers, more senior leaders, partners, and customers.

Intentional leadership gives you deliberate, thoughtful and laser focused leadership. It practices and endorses relationship intelligence strategies.

There’s only one catch: this requires self-reflection. Pause. Take a pulse. Ask yourself, what the situation and the person most requires from you as a leader.  Then, put that aspect of your leadership forward to support the best results.


What RQ qualities are present in a successful leader?

Most of our clients love this question when we ask them. Generally, they become very curious and reflective. And, they typically know quite quickly who they want to be, who they need to be, how to get there and the value of being intentional in their leadership.

But coaching is fundamentally different from training. In this free guide, we address 7 myths and misconceptions that people have about coaching, and how they prevent organizations from getting maximum ROI from coaching.